mindfirerunner

For the first time in months I looked forward to my long run this morning with little to zero motivation to lace up and hit the road. How is it that one day leads to venturing through a new city and exploring new paths, enjoying sea level, and reaping the benefits of mild weather and good training, and the next to wanting to do nothing but lay in bed in my jammies? It was a head game from the moment I woke up and continued all the way through mile 12.

I focused on getting out the door and trying not to find every excuse to turn around and head back to the hotel room. My head hurt. My stomach hurt. My legs hurt and were tired, and one step outside greeted me with a bitter wind that I simply wasn’t prepared for. I turned around and headed back up to the 16th floor and back to my room. The whole way I kept thinking I would just shut it down. I had 10 miles on tap for the day and didn’t want to run a single one of them. I grabbed my jacket, zipped up, shuttered “Brrr, I hate Seattle” and headed back out once again. I got out of the hotel doors and started running. If I can just get warmed up I’ll be okay, I kept telling myself. Mile 1 down and my legs just didn’t want to move. My toes and hands were numb and ached and my pace was slipping beyond more than my comfort zone. Just get to mile 2 and see how you feel, I tried convincing myself. I have noticed there are those runs where it takes more along the lines of 4-5 miles to warm up instead of a normal 1-2. Mile by mile I gave myself kudos and told myself to suck it up. Just get through 10…just get through 10.

There were no shortage of runners to motivate me along my way. First, a group of guys thought they could show a piddly little girl how fast they could run. The competitive side of me kicked in and before I knew it I was going a little faster than I really should have been going. I slowed it back down and told myself, “This run’s for me, not them.” By mile 9 I was getting pretty zapped, but came across a group of runners with an Adopt-A-Dog foundation that displayed bright yellow vests  that read “Fit with Fido”. After a brief encounter, I learned that these amazing people work as volunteers at the Seattle Animal Shelter and take these homeless pups out for runs in hopes of finding them new families to join. (I swore we wouldnt’ get any more dogs, but…). These dogs were so excited to be outside and have people running and playing with them. I found a new pep to my step as I dodged in and out of several of them playing and shared in a little mini road race, and I think I was grinning as much as the dogs were. I snapped out of my funk and thought about what dedication these people had to give of themselves and do more than what was expected of them. This concept quickly transcended to those around them, including me, and I thought about how I need to expect more from myself. Don’t be fooled – I’m not talking just about running. I wrapped up my run and logged an extra 2 miles just to prove to myself I could do it.

Back in the hotel room and after a nice warm shower, I pulled out a new shirt I picked up from the Nashville 1/2 last weekend. I consider it my newest lucky shirt (if you knew the events that transcended to its ending up with me you’d consider it the same). However, as I sit here reflecting on the run that almost didn’t happen, I’m reminded how truly lucky I am and that what I expect of myself I should in turn give to others.

If you don’t have a lucky shirt, that’s okay. Mine is more a reminder of what I’m capable of and in turn, what I should expect of myself to give to those around me. Find a greater expectation of yourself and share something with someone else today. Don’t be stingy. You’ve been given it for a reason, now use it for its intended purpose.