mindfirerunner

There’s nothing quite like having a Neil Diamond song running through your head at 4 o’clock in the morning. I must have been desperate to find my motivation. A busy evening turned quickly into a late night. No sooner did my head hit the pillow when my phone went off – work. I replied to the crisis at hand and hit the pillow again – baby. Okay, I’m sensing a theme for the night. After a few rounds I was finally able to doze off before waking up shivering cold and sweating again for reasons still unknown. Got up, changed jammies and headed back to bed. Round two – I clearly have no idea what time it is, only that I’m cold and have sweat dripping down my neck and back and change jammies again.

3:45 rolls around and I managed to find my phone and shut the alarm off. I pulled my tired body out of bed giving myself every reason and excuse that I should just go back to sleep. I really was not looking forward to a long hill workout this morning. It was incredibly cold (single digits) and I’ve been having vasculitis issues with  joint pain and numbness in my hands and feet, and wasn’t looking forward to being cold. I thought about how nice a treadmill sounded…

I got up, dressed in so many layers the abominable snow man would be jealous, laced up my shoes and still thought I should just go back to bed, but headed out the door instead. I got my two mile warm up done and headed for the hill thinking the whole time about just turning around and heading home. I was tired, sluggish, and cold. The roads were slick and “my” hill was covered in ice and all I kept thinking about was how frustrating the run was just trying to get a good footing. Halfway through the first set of hills I realized I was just kind of doing my workout and focusing more on wishing I was done versus focusing on what I had set out to do. I finally said (aloud) “Listen, you didn’t drag your butt out of bed to just give up. You came out here to work on becoming a better runner so snap out of it.”

Then, I realized “Where was the love?” (Commence Neil Diamond) I began singing “Turn on your heartlight. Let it shine wherever you go. Let it make a happy glow, for all the world to see”. I was grumpy and I needed to turn my frown upside down. I had to get past my immediate discomfort and frustration and focus on what my next race would look like with the work I was putting in now.

Sometimes we just need to get our heads out of the moment and think ahead long enough to remember why we’re out there in the first place. Do we get grumpy and cranky? Sure, but next time you’re feeling a little frustrated during your run, turn on your heartlight and think about the reasons you’re on the road. Time to show a little love~